Saying I Will

Angie Warren

"Go after your dreams”
“Hustle”
"Dream big"
"Anything is possible"

... sure. But also know that God is just as likely to ask you to give up on your dreams and replace them with His (which might not feel anything like "dreaming big" it might feel more like "dying slowly") in order to love deeply and reflect the heart of Christ to the world around you.

- - - - - - -

My friend Casey shared the above, her heart this summer, with zero knowledge of the doors that God had been opening and closing for our family. She wasn't aware that I'd been mostly off of FB (removed the app from my phone) but happened to pop on one afternoon - her words being the first to hit my eyes. She had no idea of the internal war that was raging within me, that I'd fought against myself for far too long.

Plain and simple, Casey didn't know that the Lord was speaking right to me with what she shared that day.

And finally, after a butterfly effect of circumstances, a combination of a quickly depleting void and my understanding (finally) that all the things I'd been doing/pursuing/attempting weren't filling it - I raised my hands and said...

Enough.

I'm done.

I surrender.

And that evening a door opened that I can only see now as one of those mountain moving moments I'll look back on and likely weep over - as I do often these days. I was reminded that I am needed, that I'm loved, that I'm worthy and that all the things I've worked so hard at, the "dreams" I was chasing, they were done with a desire to fill the hole in my heart that just, hurt, so, much. I wasn't filling it with the right thing. I was told with so much love and absolute grace, that I'm not dead with my mom or dad or brother - that I'm very much alive. And that it's time to live and to love and to allow myself joy.

And I've been working harder at living, and loving, ever since.

The hustle for the dream? It's taken a new direction. Because no matter what your hurt is, your loss, your void - I promise you, if you're not filling it with God, you're not filling it. You're deepening it.

Tomorrow I step back into a role I never imagined I'd see again. Tomorrow I obey what He has called me to, and while it doesn't feel like "dying slowly" - it's a far cry from where I thought I'd be this time last year or 8 months ago. When we surrender, He may ask us to change directions, to swap out the dream. You can fight it - but know that it'll chase you until you say "I will".

And already? That void doesn't feel so empty. In fact, I feel pretty freaking full.

Mrs. Warren is back.

If I never design for the big bucks again or see a bonus check that blows my socks off, I'll know that I followed His calling for my life. That I stopped running. That I learned His dreams are far better than my own.

I'll know that perhaps I gave a student the itch for creating. I'll know that just maybe someone took their new found love for photography or journalism, and made a pretty amazing life of it.

And I'll be so incredibly glad that I said: "I will".

Tomorrow is the beginning of a brand new chapter for us all. Remembering this - God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Come As You Are: An Invitation to Intuitive Eating

Come As You Are - An Invitation to Peace with Food + Body - Intuitive Eating - www.angiewarren.com

Can we have an honest conversation?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s a deep one. It’s a revealing, honest, vulnerable one. I’d like to talk for a moment about this body of mine.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have spent the better part of my life in a war, a struggle with an internal dialogue that has spoken lies and untruths. Spit hatred like poison, more often than not as a whisper. But the most painful whisper you’ll never actually hear.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have told myself I’m not worthy. I’m not good enough. I’ve spoken that I’ll not be accepted unless I fit the ideal that so much of the world has told me I should be.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ve allowed the words of others, some from those closest to me, to creep in and settle right there on my heart. “She shouldn’t be wearing that bathing suit, did you see her?” or “Wow she sure put on some pounds since I saw her last.” or “She isn’t small enough to accomplish that.”.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And even if those words weren’t directed at me, I positioned them to be. I absorbed them. I allowed them to fuel a fire that was burning so great, I was choking on the embers that remained.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have spent the majority of my adult life dealing with Disordered Eating, I’ve hidden behind creative poses on camera, I’ve filtered myself into a position where I thought I was likely acceptable.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And now? Now? I’m done hiding. I’m done with the games. I’m done with the diets. I’m done with the idea that I’m only worthy when I’m back in a size 4. I am done. with. the. hiding.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Because here’s the truth of it: this body has created four babies, birthed three of them. It’s walked me through some of the worst days I wouldn’t wish on my most awful enemy. It’s carried me when I wanted to curl up and join the family members who went before me.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And it’s pretty damn unfair that I’ve told it it’s not good enough. It’s pretty unfair that I’ve ever potentially allowed my children to think they’re anything less than the magnificent prize their Jesus created them to be.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So I’m on a mission and it started with this, confession of sorts, today. To raise my voice and hope it encourages you to even find yours. To know you are beautiful as you are. To know restriction does NOT bring joy and diets are NOT going to last.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You don’t have to hide. You don’t have move your body out of punishment. You don’t have to count or track or measure your way into glory. You can come just as you are and stand tall with me. I am forever and ever and ever grateful for the friend that said those words to me. She offered me and continues to, a safe place to stand. The encouragement and the knowledge that there is peace to be found with both food and body.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And it doesn’t come with a membership or a good and bad food list. It doesn’t come with pills or scale obsession. It comes with time and kindness and lots and lots of freaking hard heart work.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You can sit with me. Please, sit with me. Let’s change this for our sons and for our daughters. Let’s raise our voices and declare WE ARE GOOD AS WE ARE. The world needs more voices like this. I hope to hear yours, too.


MORE ON THIS TOPIC:

Bring Joy to Others + Watch it Change Everything

HOW TO BRING JOY TO OTHERS // www.angiewarren.com

Today I decided I would start finding ways to bring joy to others. As I pulled through the Starbucks drive through it hit me: I’m going to give a genuine compliment to at least one person I see out each day.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This barista looked like she was having A DAY, you know the kind. I adored her tattoos and told her as much. She was so caught off guard it took her a moment to respond. As it sunk in, I watched her shoulders perk up. She just needed a little love.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Do you need to pull out of a funk? Try making someone else smile! I’m no stranger to funks: five years of great, deep loss - but gratitude and giving have done me a lot of good.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Same goes here online! We hard-working women come across other just as hard-working women every time we scroll and developing a connection, a real relationships? It does the BOTH of us good. So take a few moments tonight to cheer another lady on. It takes a village, and we are the villagers!

Jenna Kutcher Quote / www.angiewarren.com

MORE ON THIS TOPIC:

When Frustration Becomes Gratitude

Motherhood - Angie Warren www.angiewarren.com

I wanted to be frustrated when she came tip-toeing in this morning. I had a plan. A great, genius idea of waking before the dawn. I wanted to spend the early hours in quiet, with my thoughts and with my bible.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What I found though, was that my body needed a bit more sleep, and the quiet was still to be found, as she sleeps softly near me.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Motherhood is made up of these tiny moments, of certain sacrifices, of knowing the time passes quickly and trying to both survive and soak in every small piece.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This girl. She has taught me more in her six years of life than I learned in the thirty before her. So I lean over and brush my lips across the flush of her cheek, and quietly whisper, “thank you, mama loves you so, very much.” and as I’ve done hundreds of times before, I offer an apology.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’m a mama full of mistakes, of bad attitudes, of hurtful words spoken. I’m trying just as we all are to do more than just my best, but to do my best well.

Should you find yourself surrounded by sleeping babies on this Tuesday morning, I pray you can find the joy in it as well. We’re in this together, mama. And today is a brand new day.

MORE ON THIS TOPIC:

Mother's Day: a Tribute

MOTHER'S DAY - grief & loss - a tribute (www.angiewarren.com)

Recently I had an opportunity to nominate someone for a Mother's Day giveaway.  The rules stated that this could be a mother you know OR a mother figure - my own mama being gone, my sister came immediately to mind. I wanted to share what I wrote:


I nominate my sister, Sadie.

Though she is not yet a mother herself (her sweet dog Maggie IS very much a part of their family), she has been so many amazing things to me - namely the very best parts of our mother.

Let me explain.

Nearly five years ago we walked beside our mom as she fought cervical cancer. Sadie found the roles reversed as she was the one caring for our sweet mama in her final weeks - private and intimate details I’ll leave out, but the way my sister selflessly poured into a once vibrant and full of life 49-year-old (our mom), left me speechless. She did hard things. She had hard conversations. But she did it with grace. I am in awe of her for that.

February of 2017 we were shocked by the sudden loss of our only brother. Sadie was able to jet set across the country (while extremely sick with the flu) to immediately take action and do the most dreaded of tasks: final arrangements for an amazing 29-year-old, gone far too soon. Those weeks were gut-wrenching. But we stuck together, doing things we never imagined doing because our mama taught us what strength is, what family is, what grace is. I am in awe of her for that.

A short six months later, just weeks after her own wedding, Sadie and I had to make another emergency trip back east. Our dad was very sick and on life support. Twelve hour days in the ICU with our father, fighting with and for him, I relied on my sister for all the best bits of our mom she encompasses. We made a decision we never imagined having to make and walked our dad into Heaven - to meet our mom and brother. When one of us cried, the other was strong. When one of us felt strong, the other was broken. She may be younger than me, but I am in awe of what my sister is and does.

Sadie may not yet be a mother but she is everything I miss and love about our own mother. Her laugh, her thumbs, her gentle spirit, her love of those less fortunate, and her relationship with God. And when the day comes that she IS a mother? I know she will be just as good of one as the mama that raised her.

I nominate my sister, who has taken some of the worst things life can throw at her, all before she was 26 - and is now an advocate for the grieving, a believer in wellness, and an encouragement to so many others.


I'm sooooo thrilled to share that, she won! Congrats Sadie, well deserved. Enjoy those goodies, love you so so much.

A Day with Monat

DAY.jpg

Today I:

- Went to the store.

- Did school with my three kiddos.

- Cleaned two bathrooms, three bedrooms, lots of floors, and a hallway.

- Switched laundry.

- Fed a lizard and a dog.

- Went to the bank, the store, and Starbucks.

- Watched a movie with my family.

- And had two separate 1:1 meetings with two of my Market Partners - one in Texas, one in Florida.

I did these meetings in my room, with my kids home. I wore sweats for one and jeans for another. We talked about kids and life, husbands and dreams. We talked about this business we said yes to, game planned, and got excited for what’s ahead.

Five months ago I very timidly said I would do this, unsure of what lay ahead. Scared. Nervous. Insecure, honestly.

I continued on during slow weeks and busier ones - I kept at it through the loss of my dad. I kept on, keeping on. And now? I get to do THIS. I get to live this life, at home with my kids, working the hours that I set. And I feel crazy blessed to do so.

I have meetings with my Market Partners turned friends where we can talk about a Monat and not. They share prayer requests with me because they know I’m already praying for them. I can educate and encourage and we can laugh and cry. And, I get paid for it.

Because I said yes.

Just feeling grateful tonight. And gratitude? It changes everything.

MORE ON THIS TOPIC: