"Go after your dreams”
"Anything is possible"
... sure. But also know that God is just as likely to ask you to give up on your dreams and replace them with His (which might not feel anything like "dreaming big" it might feel more like "dying slowly") in order to love deeply and reflect the heart of Christ to the world around you.
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My friend Casey shared the above, her heart this summer, with zero knowledge of the doors that God had been opening and closing for our family. She wasn't aware that I'd been mostly off of FB (removed the app from my phone) but happened to pop on one afternoon - her words being the first to hit my eyes. She had no idea of the internal war that was raging within me, that I'd fought against myself for far too long.
Plain and simple, Casey didn't know that the Lord was speaking right to me with what she shared that day.
And finally, after a butterfly effect of circumstances, a combination of a quickly depleting void and my understanding (finally) that all the things I'd been doing/pursuing/attempting weren't filling it - I raised my hands and said...
And that evening a door opened that I can only see now as one of those mountain moving moments I'll look back on and likely weep over - as I do often these days. I was reminded that I am needed, that I'm loved, that I'm worthy and that all the things I've worked so hard at, the "dreams" I was chasing, they were done with a desire to fill the hole in my heart that just, hurt, so, much. I wasn't filling it with the right thing. I was told with so much love and absolute grace, that I'm not dead with my mom or dad or brother - that I'm very much alive. And that it's time to live and to love and to allow myself joy.
And I've been working harder at living, and loving, ever since.
The hustle for the dream? It's taken a new direction. Because no matter what your hurt is, your loss, your void - I promise you, if you're not filling it with God, you're not filling it. You're deepening it.
Tomorrow I step back into a role I never imagined I'd see again. Tomorrow I obey what He has called me to, and while it doesn't feel like "dying slowly" - it's a far cry from where I thought I'd be this time last year or 8 months ago. When we surrender, He may ask us to change directions, to swap out the dream. You can fight it - but know that it'll chase you until you say "I will".
And already? That void doesn't feel so empty. In fact, I feel pretty freaking full.
Mrs. Warren is back.
If I never design for the big bucks again or see a bonus check that blows my socks off, I'll know that I followed His calling for my life. That I stopped running. That I learned His dreams are far better than my own.
I'll know that perhaps I gave a student the itch for creating. I'll know that just maybe someone took their new found love for photography or journalism, and made a pretty amazing life of it.
And I'll be so incredibly glad that I said: "I will".
Tomorrow is the beginning of a brand new chapter for us all. Remembering this - God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.