Come As You Are: An Invitation to Intuitive Eating
Can we have an honest conversation?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s a deep one. It’s a revealing, honest, vulnerable one. I’d like to talk for a moment about this body of mine.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have spent the better part of my life in a war, a struggle with an internal dialogue that has spoken lies and untruths. Spit hatred like poison, more often than not as a whisper. But the most painful whisper you’ll never actually hear.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have told myself I’m not worthy. I’m not good enough. I’ve spoken that I’ll not be accepted unless I fit the ideal that so much of the world has told me I should be.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ve allowed the words of others, some from those closest to me, to creep in and settle right there on my heart. “She shouldn’t be wearing that bathing suit, did you see her?” or “Wow she sure put on some pounds since I saw her last.” or “She isn’t small enough to accomplish that.”.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And even if those words weren’t directed at me, I positioned them to be. I absorbed them. I allowed them to fuel a fire that was burning so great, I was choking on the embers that remained.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have spent the majority of my adult life dealing with Disordered Eating, I’ve hidden behind creative poses on camera, I’ve filtered myself into a position where I thought I was likely acceptable.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And now? Now? I’m done hiding. I’m done with the games. I’m done with the diets. I’m done with the idea that I’m only worthy when I’m back in a size 4. I am done. with. the. hiding.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Because here’s the truth of it: this body has created four babies, birthed three of them. It’s walked me through some of the worst days I wouldn’t wish on my most awful enemy. It’s carried me when I wanted to curl up and join the family members who went before me.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And it’s pretty damn unfair that I’ve told it it’s not good enough. It’s pretty unfair that I’ve ever potentially allowed my children to think they’re anything less than the magnificent prize their Jesus created them to be.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So I’m on a mission and it started with this, confession of sorts, today. To raise my voice and hope it encourages you to even find yours. To know you are beautiful as you are. To know restriction does NOT bring joy and diets are NOT going to last.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You don’t have to hide. You don’t have move your body out of punishment. You don’t have to count or track or measure your way into glory. You can come just as you are and stand tall with me. I am forever and ever and ever grateful for the friend that said those words to me. She offered me and continues to, a safe place to stand. The encouragement and the knowledge that there is peace to be found with both food and body.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And it doesn’t come with a membership or a good and bad food list. It doesn’t come with pills or scale obsession. It comes with time and kindness and lots and lots of freaking hard heart work.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You can sit with me. Please, sit with me. Let’s change this for our sons and for our daughters. Let’s raise our voices and declare WE ARE GOOD AS WE ARE. The world needs more voices like this. I hope to hear yours, too.
